
Dad jokes
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- Usher
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Dad jokes
Two fedoras are sitting on a shelf in a men's store.
The first fedora says to the second:
I'll stay here, you go on ahead."
The first fedora says to the second:
I'll stay here, you go on ahead."
"Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys."
--- Mark Twain in Roughing It
--- Mark Twain in Roughing It
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- Usher
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Dad jokes
Two silkworms were having some sort of competition. It ended in the tie.
What's worse than a Giraffe with a sore throat?
A Hippopotamus with chapped lips.
What's worse than a Giraffe with a sore throat?
A Hippopotamus with chapped lips.
"Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys."
--- Mark Twain in Roughing It
--- Mark Twain in Roughing It
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- Usher
- Posts: 2508
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Dad jokes
A Department of Federal Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.
The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.
The Water representative says, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull is gaining with every step. The Rep is clearly terrified, So the old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
'Your card! Show him Your card!'
He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.
The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.
The Water representative says, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull is gaining with every step. The Rep is clearly terrified, So the old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
'Your card! Show him Your card!'
"Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys."
--- Mark Twain in Roughing It
--- Mark Twain in Roughing It
- JimVH
- Deacon
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Dad jokes
Pun? Meme? Dad joke?
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"You may all go to In-N-Out, and I will go to Whataburger."
- Davy Crockett (1835)
- Davy Crockett (1835)
- Bloodhound
- Usher
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Dad jokes
Stopped in at a roadside Zoo a couple weeks ago. All they had for animals was a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu...
It was a Shih Tzu...
Do Justice...
Love Mercy...
Walk Humbly with your GOD
Kyrie Eleison
Love Mercy...
Walk Humbly with your GOD
Kyrie Eleison
- JimVH
- Deacon
- Posts: 4702
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Dad jokes
Careful. They can be fierce.Bloodhound wrote: 04 Apr 2024, 10:53 Stopped in at a roadside Zoo a couple weeks ago. All they had for animals was a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu...
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"You may all go to In-N-Out, and I will go to Whataburger."
- Davy Crockett (1835)
- Davy Crockett (1835)
- Bloodhound
- Usher
- Posts: 2275
- Joined: 19 Apr 2022, 08:14
- Location: Eastern Slope/Colorado
- Has thanked: 1232 times
- Been thanked: 386 times
Dad jokes
I love the bow tie and the look of total "In Charge-ness"JimVH wrote: 04 Apr 2024, 12:18Careful. They can be fierce.Bloodhound wrote: 04 Apr 2024, 10:53 Stopped in at a roadside Zoo a couple weeks ago. All they had for animals was a dog.
It was a Shih Tzu...
Do Justice...
Love Mercy...
Walk Humbly with your GOD
Kyrie Eleison
Love Mercy...
Walk Humbly with your GOD
Kyrie Eleison