Things Protestants Might Say That Catholics Wouldn't

FredS · Post by **FredS** » 30 Nov 2023, 07:08

"Is this bread gluten free?"

FredS · Post by **FredS** » 30 Nov 2023, 07:10

"Hey that church at the mall has a new drummer. Wanna start going there?"

FredS · Post by **FredS** » 30 Nov 2023, 07:12

"Hold it right there mister! We don't allow alcohol at church picnics. Take it to the parking lot where no one can see."

Del · Post by **Del** » 30 Nov 2023, 07:20

FredS wrote: 30 Nov 2023, 07:08 "Is this bread gluten free?"

Given that receiving Christ in the Eucharist is the center of Catholic worship and the modern prevalence of gluten-intolerant allergies, Catholics have to deal with this more than anyone else. We've developed customs to accommodate food allergies during worship.

I am genuinely curious how our Orthodox brothers work around this one!

Our real problem is providing gluten-free alternatives along with the donuts after Mass.

Del · Post by **Del** » 30 Nov 2023, 07:33

FredS wrote: 30 Nov 2023, 07:10 "Hey that church at the mall has a new drummer. Wanna start going there?"

Evangelicals are a relatively rare in Wisconsin, but there is a little Assembly of God community in my village. Pastor Leonard has led them for decades, and we've become good friends over the years.

When I ask how things are going at his church, about half the time he responds with some good or bad news about his band. "Well, my new bass player...."

Del · Post by **Del** » 30 Nov 2023, 07:48

Madison has a lot of progressive churches with lots of virtue-signal signs out front.

"We've got to get the new Pride Flag."

FredS · Post by **FredS** » 30 Nov 2023, 09:38

Del wrote: 30 Nov 2023, 07:20
FredS wrote: 30 Nov 2023, 07:08 "Is this bread gluten free?"
Given that receiving Christ in the Eucharist is the center of Catholic worship and the modern prevalence of gluten-intolerant allergies, Catholics have to deal with this more than anyone else. We've developed customs to accommodate food allergies during worship.

I am genuinely curious how our Orthodox brothers work around this one!

Our real problem is providing gluten-free alternatives along with the donuts after Mass.

I almost wrote "Is this body gluten free?" but sensibility overtook me for a minute. I reckon if He can transubstantiate once, He can transubstantiate twice in the same place and time, depending on which line one chooses.

Real question - - - Do you have non-alcoholic wine for those that suffer from addiction? Many Protestant churches have dropped wine altogether in favor of grape juice.

FredS · Post by **FredS** » 30 Nov 2023, 09:42

"How are you doing today Deacon Karen? That's a lovely nose ring you're wearing."

FredS · Post by **FredS** » 30 Nov 2023, 09:49

"Make it snappy. There's an east-coast game that starts at 11:00 and I don't want to miss the kick-off."

Oh wait, Catholic guys probably say that as much as the rest of us.

FredS · Post by **FredS** » 30 Nov 2023, 09:51

"He's not my Pope."